kyung

an end at the beginning

Casual dating to a serious monogamous relationship, should one be considered a better route than the other? The more I think about, the more I see they're not similar at all, yet, not so different. I know I'm contradicting myself right now. But it all makes sense.

At this moment, I'm in a rut. I've been playing for the "casual dating" team. Now I've run into someone who thinks and doesn't quite understand why I play for them. He asks if I have ever thought about running into problems with the path I'm taking. Of course I have. And I'm accepting full consequences in this decision I have made, being fully aware of all the possibilities. But it is MY decision. He questioned me, "what if you start liking a guy that you're dating and want to get serious with. But then you find out he wants to get serious with a different girl and not you." See, I've already thought of that happening, and that is the chance I have to take. But what difference is that from dating one guy, in a serious monogamous relationship, and then having him tell me that "i want to see other people" or "i met someone else." The only difference I see is you devote more in the committed relationship as supposed to the casual dating. That means you're risking more in every department, let alone the cut would be deeper. I'm still healing from a previous burn. And that is why right now, I'm not ready. Casual dating basically keeps me somewhat protected. It helps me to stay in line and not fall in too deep, or too quickly. It's basically like having your orange floaties and just dawdling in the pool, testing out the water, before you take them off and decide to dive in deep. Unfortunately with all that is happening, some things happen at the wrong place and at the wrong time.

posted by yellowgirl @ 6:25 PM