kyung

boot camp blog

check it out yo

http://kimmyju.blogspot.com/

posted by yellowgirl @ 2:49 AM 2 comments

give me a rabbits foot

well ive been here in atlanta working on a tyler perry film. so far the job's great. ive learned so much and mucho thanks to kim, who got me this job. and it seems that the accoutant and upm rly want me to stay and work on their next project. they havent talked to me directly, yet at least. they're having a meeting with the producer to see if they can fit me into the budget since they'll be hiring me again as a non local. and will have to house me etc. they're def considering a pay raise which i will not even consider taking this job if they dont since i am being underpaid for the position ive been working as. will keep u informed about this. wish me luck.

other then that. nothing else going on with my personal life. nothing great at least. my friend mireya is coming to visit me this weekend. im looking forward to it. i need it. it'll lift my spirits somewhat hopefully. ive been in a funk, for awhile now, almost a year. need to snap out of it, or, just make some sense out of it. wish me more luck on that.

posted by yellowgirl @ 11:10 PM 3 comments

cracked

wow. its been ages. i guess there are many reasons why ive been absent from my blog. partly, just being too busy, partly, just being lazy and/or forgetful. many things have changed, my location, my friends, my family, just my life in general. as u know, ive lost a friend. and there's not a day that goes by w/o him in my thoughts, or a tear left unshed.

ive finally come back for a few reasons. i realized i need something of my own that i can hold on to. ive lost many things within this past year. and honestly, i dont know how im gonna get by. i know i will. im built that way. but as each day passes, my will subsides. my doubts empower.

i realize im very lost in life. just as many people are as well. so im trying, trying to keep going, to keep looking for anything to give me a boost to make it another day with a smile.

one step, at a time, and then, breathe.

posted by yellowgirl @ 11:09 PM 1 comments

la la people in la la land

This morning i went into work with my friend. As we were driving pass an intersection, we see this Jeep drive up and stop, waiting to turn right. I saw from the distance that he was dragging something along the side of his car. As we got closer to him, we realized right when we were about to pass him by that the lengthy object was actually the hose from a gas station pump! Yes people, he had the FULL hose, nozzle and all still attached to his gas tank, driving around aimlessly in los angeles. My friend and i were stunned, we laughed of course, but were baffled more than anything. Did he know that he just drove off with the hose still connected to his car? Did he just pump and bail?? Was this just some sort of joke??? We concluded that he must have known about this because the hose was so long. It dragged all along the street, and then some. Maybe it was part of a hidden camera prank.......i guess we will never know.

Man i love l.a.

posted by yellowgirl @ 12:35 PM 2 comments

better not then have?

I was talking with a friend of mine today about "1st kisses." He tells me that all his first kisses were in a car. How sad. So, i got to thinking of my own firsters. I tried and tried to think of my great 1st kiss, but, i couldnt think of one either! I realized after much thought processing, that i was now just trying to find the least lamest from the pool of lames that i had as well.

I definitely dont like the 1st kiss to be at a moment in the night where its "supposed" to happen, like at the end of the evening and he walks u to your door. That's so predictable, and ive been known to purposely not kiss the guy because of that exact reason. And let us not forget the car. This is not any better. Maybe if i was still in highschool, but now that im more grown up (realize i said "more") and the older we get, the more complicated everything else gets and tends to need to be.

So when is the perfect time? Well, i dont think there is one. After much thinking, and i do think alot. The best 1st kiss moments are the ones that never actually happen. Your face, slowly lures closer to his. Time seems to stop for that exact moment. Your heart beats at an unfamiliar rhythm, as your breathing gets heavy. You can feel his warm breath seeping into your lungs, and your lips part slightly getting ready to taste his. But, for whatever reason, your lips never touch, it never happens. That moment just holds in place. It reaches a boundary that can not cross. Both urges are strong and similiar, but for whatever reason, time starts back up, the earth continues to spin. And that "what could be" disippates. There may be other elements involved to cause the cease. Maybe the kiss would possibly stir up future complications, or unnecessary drama, or even just a simple blissed sin.

But which ever it may be, those, in my opinion, are the best 1st kiss.

posted by yellowgirl @ 8:33 PM 1 comments

opposite

im such a tard when it comes to boys. maybe thats why ive always had bad luck with relationships, but then again, it seems that EVERYONE has bad luck, so does that make everyone tards? Then if everyone's a tard, doesnt that make everyone not a tard?

sorry im back from that last ramble. i did realize that when im with a guy that i am not interested in romantically, im way more comfortable with him. im more talkative, more goofy, more affectionate all around. i never hesitate to hug him, or play around with him. maybe because i have nothing to lose since my feelings are not on the line. but when it comes to guys that i do like, im the complete opposite. i'll rarely talk to him, even LOOK at him. im usually really calm and laid back. i will act completely uninterested in him. hmmph =/

yep, its official, im a tard.

posted by yellowgirl @ 5:15 PM 2 comments

just me

I'm so relieved that May is over. So far June has been tender. The past week though ive been feeling very calm. Not happy, not sad, just very neutral, almost numb. But its not a negative thing, its actually comforting.

I'm flying out to cali in 5 days, i can't wait to go back and see the friendly faces and feel the familiar hugs. I keep telling myself that this big decision of moving back home was the right thing, and i know it is, but ive never felt so alone. Its not that i didnt feel lonely when i was living in l.a. I mean c'mon, it's the "lonely city." But this loneliness has just grown deeper. But i dont think its necessarily a negative thing.

This last relationship really had me messed up for awhile. I really dont think ive ever had anyone make me feel so insignificant. I went around beating myself up, and pretty hard. I think more then i deserved, more then anyone deserved to. It has changed me, i feel and think different about things, about myself, about my life in general. Again, this is all not a detrimental thing though. I do feel that im now, finally, "finding myself," more then i ever have done before.....maybe thats why i feel more alone, being on this solitary crossing has left me exactly with what i had from the beginning; just myself.

posted by yellowgirl @ 10:39 AM 0 comments