Just A Feeling
Do you ever sometimes get the feeling that something major is going to happen in your life? Ive been feeling that way for awhile. Ive always thought 2006 was going to be a major year for me (thought something great was going to happen). But I have a feeling that something really bad is instead. And this event will cause a ripple effect in my life which I will never be able to go back to. I dont think this negative thing will sink me down a downward spiral, but it will have a major change in my world completely. I do believe that good things will also come out of this. Maybe I'll finally see some direction in my life, a guide to my path. Whichever case, I do feel almost prepared for this rif, almost.
Calloused Fingers
So last night I started to play my guitar again (not good) but at least I picked it back up. Never took a lesson, so its all pretty crappy. But I realized how much I missed playing around with it. Im starting a new song as well.....its still very very new, has like one line in it, thats it. But lately Ive just been playing some of the old songs I made years ago!! Like 7 yrs ago!! I will never play and sing in front of people, :( but its just a great thing to do by myself, i enjoy it very much. And I decided to write out the lyrics to one of my songs I made up back in the day.....enjoy! Its called Mouth Full Of Rain
Everyday i would try to sing out loud
Every note i would think of you
All the times i would cry to sleep at night
Every tear i would soak it through
I'd sit and wonder can it be
I'd hope someday it would be me
Can i request a song to be played, on my rainy birthday
I wonder, if im wrong - am I just acting, alittle strong
Is it not really me - are we exactly where we should be
You never gave a chance for our love
We both believed in signs sent from above
But you were too far away from me
And I was too scared to believe
Anxiously i would wait right by the phone
Wondering when you would call
As each day comes nearer to its end
And again i know im alone
I'd lay and try to go to sleep
Praying that i wont cry too deep
Can i request a song to be played, on my rainy birthday
Justice Served
This has to be one of the best & worst day of my life. (im totally exaggerating btw) First of all, the best part was earlier in the day. Joy and I had to run a few errands, go to target, best buy, shoe pavillion, etc. Well we decided to go to this little plaza first to get something to eat. And of course, since it was saturday, it was packed! We drove around the parking lot, looking for a spot to park, and then I saw this car pulling out. So i drove up to it, waited with my blinker on and everything. As soon as that car pulled out, some other random car just cuts me off and parks in the spot I was waiting for. I honked naturally, thinking "okay, this guy could not have purposely done this rude, unnecessary act. He must not have seen I was waiting" But sure enough, after I honked, he gives me the finger! And not the " great job" thumbs up finger! So I pull up alittle and just sit there, in astonishment with Joy on how this guy could be such a prick. And how HE gave US the finger when HE was the one that stole our spot. So he gets out of the car, looking a smug and smirking, we see he's in his 40s, which is even worse, he's a grown ass man, and the passenger comes out and its like his son, about 18yrs, also smiling. Which is even worse, cuz this guy is leading by example. And so, joy and sit there looking at them, I guess wondering for an explanation, just still in shock. Well instead of the man just ignoring us and leaving the situation be, which would have been better and not let the whole situation boil up. But he continued to rub it in our face, cursing at us, telling us to fuck off, go fuck yourself etc. So Joy just gives him the finger and we drive off.
During this time, while we're still trying to find a parking spot, joy and I talk about how stupid these guys were. We were saying we can go key his car, or if we were some other people, pull out a gun or whatnot. Joy then says these are the times she wishes she did have a gun so she can shoot that guy in the foot. We were both laughing but still upset about the whole situation. Then we joked some more about we should keep eggs in my car, in case of emergencies like these. Well anyhoo, we finally park our car, and as we are walking to the food court, I saw the 2 guys up ahead walking away and disappearing around the corner. So I said to joy, "lets go to starbucks."
We run in there, and joy suggestion was brilliant, a carmel frappicino with extra carmel and whip cream. We waited and waited for our drink to be ready. My adrenaline was pumping, my hands were shaking, and i couldnt stop giggling. After the longest 5 minutes ever, our drink was ready. I grabbed the drink, and we ran back to that guys car and I took off the top and first, smeared all the whip cream and carmel on the drivers side window. Then i took the rest and smeared and poured it all on the front windshield. I even left the cup and lid on his car! Joy was the lookout. And she did a fantastic job. Afterwards, we both felt so pleased and content, like justice was served for all the people who had this situation happen to them, and didnt/couldnt do anythign about it. Hopefully this guy will think twice before he acts like an ass, cuz far worse things could have happened to him, or his son, or his car.
Well that was my best day, and for the worst day of my life, well that was later that night. We went to go see the movie Ultraviolet.......OMG, had to have been the worst movie I have EVER seen, and that is NO exageration.
The End :)
Jr High
So yesterday was a very weird day. I really thought it was a full moon. I got into work around 12noon, and of course it was busy. But what made it worse was when K aimed me. He immediately jumped to asking if i was mad at him. I told him I wasnt. But for some reason he didnt believe it, or didnt want to believe it. So he kept asking, and i kept telling him no i wasnt mad. I partly do blame the aim system, you can never quite understand the tone in someone's writing. So I think he just read me wrong. But what really pushed my buttons was that he had to get others involved. It just reminded me of jr high. Next thing I read from him is him saying that so and so also agrees that they believe im mad. I thought to myself, who are these people to make such a judgement? They dont know me, they dont know me at all! And I cant stand when other people butt in their noses where it doesnt belong. Well, I really wasnt mad, I was actually in a good mood, but after that unnecessary fiasco, I started to get annoyed. I wasnt mad at either one of them, it was an honest misunderstanding. But my day went even weirder from there. During this whole ordeal. I get a text message on my cell phone, from another friend saying "you hate me." I was like "wtf is going on?" I didnt quite understand how everyone was thinking I was mad at them today. That got me to wonder, should I be mad at someone? haha
Well this whole thing receded, thank goodness, because the whole situation was childish. But people will learn that Im not the type to get mad easily. I get it from my father. It takes alot, but when I do get mad, I can be mad FOREVER. It is one of my many flaws. I do get annoyed very easily though ;)
I do hope after this whole event, we can all learn that when I say Im not mad, that means Im not mad. And just drop the conversation. I am really not one of those stupid girls that say "no, nothings bothering me" But in actuality they want you to keep bugging them cuz they want the attention or whatever. I am not one of those! Thank God! If something is bothering me, I will make the first gesture to talk about it, if I even want to. So leave it be people. You dont want to open a book that you are not prepared to read.
Notso Happy Camper
Well, im in a bad mood today, surprise surprise. I really need to find another job cuz what i do now, makes me really hate people in general. And thats not good obviously. Every morning, i get calls from people asking the dumbest questions, requesting ridiculous things. For example, people ask me for favors, when they should be the last people to even talk to me. Do these naive people think its that easy to get what you want? All you have to do is ask and you shall receive? I'll have an extra, who's cancelled on a few jobs (basically being a flake), call me to ask if i can get him his SAG voucher. EVERYBODY wants a SAG voucher, what makes you think YOU deserve one and not the other guy who shows up to every job we send him, who's reliable and eager to work? I really do hate people......i wish there wasnt a law against murder, i'd be a happy camper!
Last
So tonights the last night with my dear friend hugo. He's been living w/Joy and I for about a month, but it seems longer, kind of wish it was longer. We went to PF Changs for dinner, his treat, and towards the end, Joy and I got teary eyed. She let a few fall, but i just held my breath and resisted the tears. Im so tired right now, but I dont want to sleep cuz the next morning I know it will be our last. Im so afraid that he's going to disappear from my life, again. Its amazing how us 3 have survived 14 yrs of friendship, lived thru seperate lives, yet end up back together like old times. I truly will cherish what an impact hugos had in my life, not just this past month, but through most of my upbringing. He has taught me to stand strong, to be an individual, and to grasp onto your passions in life. I shall miss his smell, his clothes hanging in my closet, his giggles from my living room late at night. I shall miss him, completely.
